What’s This Buzzword, INFJ?
And why does it seem so important to know your personality type? If you happen to be an INFJ, how can learning about it help you?
The INFJ, also known as the Advocate or Idealist, is one of the rarest personality types in the MBTI system, making up about 1% of the population.
Diving Deep: The INFJ Approach
Now let’s dive deeper (because as an INFJ, I naturally love diving deep—really deep).
While I wouldn’t say I dislike small talk — after all, it’s necessary to start conversations — you can’t jump straight into asking about the meaning of life. However, I love exploring deeper topics. Not with everyone, of course, but when I feel the connection, I dive right in. In the very first conversation, I might talk about how we’re all interconnected, how the people we meet teach us about ourselves, or how everything happens at the right time and place. I’ll bring up life’s purpose, offer advice on relationships, and help shift perspectives to see life more positively.
Some people will be overwhelmed, some people will be amazed, some just won’t care. And that’s ok.
The Transformative Conversations of an INFJ
I’ve noticed something remarkable about being an INFJ: when I speak from the heart, people often make transformative changes in their lives. For instance:
- I inspired a friend to quit smoking.
- I encouraged another friend to recognize her worth and leave a stagnant relationship that was going nowhere.
- I inspired someone to adopt a more positive outlook on life
When I have these heartfelt conversations, I can often see the change instantly. It’s in their eyes — their pupils literally dilate. I started to see people going to the gym, taking a new courses, making big life shifts, only after talking to me.
But don’t get me wrong — I’m not some wise guru or all-knowing Yoda with answers to every question. I’m just human, prone to mistakes and uncertainty. I don’t always know how to help and I don’t always inspire someone.
Still, there’s something bittersweet about what comes next. Some people ghost me and disappear, as if my role in their story was complete. It feels like I was a messenger in their lives, sent to deliver a message, and once they received it, they moved on. Or maybe they were the messenger for me? Either way, two souls meet, create a transformative reaction, and then part ways.
The Power of an INFJ Personality
INFJs often act as mirrors for others, reflecting their potential and inspiring life-changing growth. Meeting an INFJ can be a transformative experience — or at least, that’s how I see it. Maybe I’ve just convinced myself of this, but who knows?
When I look online, it feels like the internet is full of content about INFJs — articles, videos, and even coaches dedicated to this personality type. I mean, we have our coaches, that are dedicated only for an INFJ! Can you imagine? We’re so out of this world, we need coaches dedicated to INFJ personality type (that are INFJs themselves) to help us handle life and reality. (I’d love to see a coach just for ESTPs, honestly.)
In reality, though, INFJs are rare. With only 1% of the population being INFJ, it’s unlikely to meet someone who shares the same thought processes or cognitive functions.
Rarity in Numbers
Think about it. Your personality type makes up only 1% of the population, while ISFJs, for example, account for a whopping 14%! It’s just not fair. The world is simply built around personality types that are more prevalent in society — ISFJ, ESFJ, ISTJ, ESTJ. These types are known for being practical, social, and reliable — qualities that are often encouraged. Well, I’m sometimes very non-practical, anti-social, and as for reliable? I reliably forget myself in my imagination.
On the other hand, rarer types tend to be more thoughtful, imaginative and visionary, which might not align as easily with society’s norms. Yes, I’m talking about you, INFJs (and INTJs and INFPs).
I can’t help but wonder what the world would look like if 14% of the population were INFJs. Can you imagine? Growing up surrounded by people with the same worldview and cognitive functions as you. When I first took the personality test and discovered I was an INFJ, I immediately looked it up online. I found others who were soft-spoken like me, thought in abstract ways like me, wrote emotionally like me, and even had the same INFJ stare. Did you know it is actually a thing? Just look it up and see (stare) for yourself.
For the first time, I felt I wasn’t alone. There were more people like me out there.
Of course, no two INFJs are the same. We are all unique. But there are definitely some common threads.
The Math of Being an INFJ Personality
In a class of 30 students, INFJs make up only 0.3% of the group. That means most classes won’t even have one INFJ. At best, there might be one INFJ in some classes. And that always was me.
Now compare this to ISFJs, who make up 14% of the population. In a class of 30, there would likely be 4 ISFJs! So while ISFJs are much more common and easier to encounter, INFJs are a rare find.
This rarity means that INFJs often don’t meet many people who think the same way or share the same cognitive functions. And that’s what makes being an INFJ both a challenge and a gift.
And to Conclude
Don’t use being an INFJ as an excuse. We all have our own set of cards, so let’s play them to our advantage. Trust your intuition!
As for me, I’m here coaching other INFJs — because honestly, giving advices is just something we’re born to do.
Your fellow INFJ,
Andrea